14th
How To Avoid Holding the Flashlight
I despise home improvement projects. It’s not so much the project as the painfully boring tasks I am left with. Today, while my hubby was tackling some random basement project I was assigned the usual “Amy” task of holding the flashlight.
Mind you I HATE this task. It seems I am standing still pointing a beam of light for like twelve hours. OK - I know it isn’t REALLY twelve hours but it feels like it.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, was my day. After 14 years of marriage things were about to change for me. >insert dramatic music score here< I am quite certain I will never be assigned this task again.
Here was my super evil plan:
Step 1) shake the flashlight and yell “Earthquake!”
Step 2) when hubby gives you an annoyed look, stop
Step 3) wait a few minutes and shake again while yelling “After Shock!”
Step 4) you will certainly get another annoyed look, stop again
Step 5) wait a few more minutes then begin making shadow puppets. For added flavor, I gave my shadow puppet a voice similar to that of Barney
Step 6) ask - at least three times - how long this is going to take
Step 7) whine the flashlight is getting heavy
This process took me about 30 minutes. Mind you, my husband has the patience of a saint and rarely shows emotion. I do not recommend this plan with a husband that does not have a sense of humor.
I am happy to report that my nine year old son, Tyler, is now the official flashlight holder at the MacIntosh residence.
You’re welcome.
