21st
Absolute Truths
Absolute Truths
There are a few things in my life that are absolute truths (or ATs as I will call them cause I’m a lazy typer). Now these ATs are natural phenomenon that often make me believe I am clairvoyant, lucky or cursed - take your pick.
11. I can’t Magic Eye. You know those fad posters of the 90s that are just a jumble of dots that supposedly when you stare at them long enough you see an eagle soaring over a river. Well - I don’t see crap. And to be honest, I don’t think any of you do either. It’s a scam.
10. I haven’t naturally typed the word “the” correct since the invention of auto spell check. I am unable to type t, h and e in that order. It is always teh.
9. At least once a month I surf past Shawshank Redemption on TV (seriously, are there no royalty fees for that movie) - and I stop and watch every time.
8. A stone chip in my windshield will always be on the drivers side, directly in my line of vision.
7. On any given “One Hit Wonders” show Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners will be featured. Can’t we all just agree to let that miserable tune rest in peace, … please?
6. At least 5 times a week I glance at a digital clock and it is 11:11 (NO - my clocks aren’t broken)
5. Every day I wear black wool pants my cat will decide to give me extra love in morning, ensuring I take a part of him with me that day.
4. I can ALWAYS count on Tyler to make me smile when I’m grumpy - he is a natural born comedian. Which is good because…
3. Chris will ALWAYS be at least 15 minutes late anywhere we go. It’s taken me 20 years to accept this, and now - with medication - I can enjoy life again.
2. I never win the armrest war on an airplane.
1. When they say “Caution Coffee is Hot” at a drive thru - they’re not messing around. You could melt aluminum in there. I am physically unable to heed this warning and will burn my tongue.
Shoot me back your absolute truths - especially if you experience the 11:11 phenomenon.
